As I stare at my green Creation band that lies on my desk I wonder “can I ever get it back?” Its been a full 4 days since I’ve left Creation and I just took off the band which let me enter such an amazing place. Everything about it was so glorious. Somewhere between the lights, the music, the jokes, the heat, the smoothies and the spigot you realize that this is more than just some lame Jesus camp.
I try to explain to others the magnitude of such an experience. I try to give a taste of the music, share some of the jokes, and breakdown each and every amazing moment I had at Creation but it never works out. It’s as if I was standing at the edge of an infinite abyss and trying to give an estimate on how deep it was. You just can’t.
At first I thought that it was gonna be weird and I’m not gonna lie, first band, I thought “what have I gotten myself into?” but then Relient K and Switchfoot came and the lookof amazement struck my face. “I could do anything now” I thought for the high of Christian Rock pulsated through my veins. Soon the concert ended and the magic trickled away. “NO” I thought, “I want more.” Little did I know that Ellie, the bringer of all things good, had other plans in store.
Ellie opened me like a kid opening a present on Christmas day. Not only did she take me to Creation in the first place but she took me to Starfield. And it was here where I opened myself completely. In this yellow tent of worshipers I found myself, once again, worrying what people were gonna think about me if I raised my hands or sang along to songs I’d never heard. But I took a breath and looked around and there was Ellie smiling that gosh darn giddy smile of hers and I realized that Creation wasn’t about what others thought. It was about something totally bigger than you, something that though you’ve never seen it or touched it, you pay tribute to it and somehow out of all the craziness in the world: the love, the war, the wack-os and the dulls; you find yourself at Creation in a happy medium where everything makes total sense. And it clicked when I went to Starfield, it clicked when I sang “revolution“ and “all for you.” Yea, I was singing to god and that’s something that I don’t really do a lot. But it was ok because I was comfortable in this yellow tent because I felt bonded and united with everyone. I wasn’t one lonely person trudging through life, I was a part of a group and we had presence and love and that’s something that society can‘t destroy.
The next 3 days were spent in an amazing oasis of inside jokes, moments, praying, singing, dancing, and being free. Not one part of me was tied back by homework or college or boys; I was completely free. I was bounding around Mt. Union with 3 amazing people; one of them I knew quite well and the other two were complete strangers. I found myself happier than ever with these strangers and I treasured every moment with them. Why else would I write all our inside jokes down and post them on my Xanga.
But eventually the 4 days of concerts ended. And the jokes and the laughing and the singing had to stop. I will never forget what happened there whether it’s a joke or a revelation. Creation changed me and I’m not gonna lie, I’m proud of it. I know that people expected me to come back changed into some kind of Jesus freak. And yes I am a bit more religious now, but there is no doubt in my mind that more than just my beliefs changed at Creation. And for that I am eternally grateful to Ellie, to M.J., to Jeff, to Caitlin, to Chris, to Matt, to the bands, to the speakers, to Creation, and to God.
Thank you.
>>>Creation '05
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2 comments:
Lina, going to Creation with you was one of the single most amazing things ever to happen to me. Why? Because every single summer of my life I find that high, that amazing intense feeling that makes you want to jump up and down and scream and tears just leak out of the sides of your eyes inexplicably because you can't keep the joy inside anymore. I find it every summer. But this year, I think it was more amazing than just rediscovering it; I was witness to someone discovering that for the first time. And as I sit here and cry because I'm so incredibly happy for you I can't even say and Ryan shoots me weird looks, I also search for the words to tell you how much this meant to me. To tell you how scared I was (unreasonably so, mind you) that you would laugh at us. That you would think I was weird, that you would feel alienated and separate from the group. That you wouldn't appreciaite the intensity, that you would think I was crazy for inviting you in the first place.
All I wanted to come out of this trip was to rediscover my own high, my own happy dappy little jesus place. But instead I gained a friend who gets it now. One more person in my life who needs God and knows it. One more person who won't look at me like I;m an idiot when I try to describe the God-high.
I can't tell you how good that feels.
I love you!
Pressing the heck yes button!
With God and spigots,
el
Hey Lina -- good luck exploring the infinite abyss!!
I know exactly what you mean
And I wish I could've gone, too
You guys rock
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