Projects. A time period where you, a senior in high school, gets a glimpse into the real world and ultimately what college will prepare you for. I was excited and ready to take on the dedication and responsibilities that a job brings. Hanging lights, building set, and breaking new ground in my mind on the knowledge of what I love. It's amazing to learn and explore without fear. I love getting up in the morning, getting dressed for painting the set, bringing tools to work, taking the train and subway and feeling completely independent. I don't miss homework. I don't miss tests. I don't even miss writing which I am so excited about. But there is something do I miss. Friends, teachers, people who love me, people who I can connect with and love right back. I miss the jokes, the laughter, the conversations overlapping, even the drama. It is so hard to imagine that I am not going back to those hallways anymore and stoping people to talk about Players rehearsal, or the latest gossip. It's hard to imagine the teachers not being right behind me whether for a compliment or a D-form. It's hard to imagine me... not in the art cave.
I'm ready. I feel ready but I don't want to go. Going a week and not seeing Isabel's shining smile, hearing Ellie's soothing voice, listening to Hannah's insults with Lionel's music tuned in the background, and getting a hug from Michael, or a picture with Julia. I miss everyday laughing with Simone on our way for moments at the Rec I will never forget. I could try and squeeze every minute of my weekend with friends but all in all it wouldn't add up. And there I will be, 5 o'clock on a Sunday afternoon, wishing I had just one more hour with my friends. No, with my family.
There's nothing I can really do. Our time is coming to a close and I have to face it. But can't we just go to the coffee shop one more time? Can't we go bowling after school again? Can't we be caught spooning on my carpet? For old times sake? I know the summer is coming and we'll have three more months of limitless, homework-less, and curfew-less time. But those times will be here and gone soon, and then what? I'll go to college. You will stay in your world and I in mine, and there will be very few bridges. What a depressing thought. Eventually we will all be dispersed to our colleges and jobs and we wont have the art cave anymore...... Fuck you time, that's not fair! I want more time, I want more!
Well, fine, who needs time anyway? Not me?!
... I think....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
ugh. No...im not crying! maybe a tiny bit. Lina its been 1 week since ive had a hug from my other half. Its been 7 days since ive seen your smile. Its just been too long. This week i found myself on the ground of the art cave (there were no more chairs haha) staring at the walls and hiding from this life. My mom looked over and asked what was wrong and i said, i miss her. I miss you a lot. Schools hard when im alone a lot. i dont want to think about our time and how much we have. But i dont want to blink and have it be over either. I feel lost and cant wait to see you. I love you so much lina. Ill always be here. I'll always need my big sister/best friend/3rd leg of the tripod/other half.
I love you. So much. I've only known you for a year but I miss you soooooo mcuh. Before last night, I hadn't seen you for two weeks and I was getting quite sad. And last night, you still fit in, you still had all of us, and we still had you. See? It will all be good. Life does go on, and you definately will be remembered. I walked into the green room at boychoir last night and looked at everyone's names on the walls. They're still there, just like all of our hearts and spirits. I love you!
Lina, i didnt spend much time in the art cave, i couldnt do players, but through dance ensemble, hip hop club and PAB, i still feel like i got to know you fairly well and i have a basis for this comment. you were such a role model. seeing you wear whatever you f*ing wanted to, and taking risks, and instead of looking foolish, looking awesome! I miss you. I miss you trying to climb the wall of the dance studio. I wish i couldve been even closer to you, but knowing you has had a real impact on my life and knowing that, being afraid of getting wet, shouldnt stop you from playing in the rain. I will miss you so much lina, and i know that i am definatly not the only one, im not even the only one outside of the players people. THAT is the impact that you have had on our lives, and we will always remember you, and wait on the edge of our seats for your return, and your many stories and laughs that go along with it. mauh!
-Mel
Post a Comment