Dear Sir,

So I'm just going to jump into this, is that ok? I mean then again I jump into everything so really me asking your permission isn't going to mean a god damn thing. Ok, so it's late on a Monday night; I just came back from an outing with my friend, Phillis. We had fun. We saw The Break Up, that cute romantic comedy staring Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, who I personally think should have stayed with Brad but who am I to delegate? Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that yes, I saw a romantic comedy which means that my emotions are, most certainly, at a heightened point. But as I stated in the last update: it's always there, making it a blessing and a curse.

Right, so, down to business. You know I never really liked business. It's always so tiering and there you are at five in the afternoon, exhausted. Anyway, let me get down to the point. I am writing you to say that I'm annoyed, pestered, pissed. Ok, pissed is too strong of a word, but you get the idea. You see, I have found a flaw, dear sir. A flaw, not in the system, and not in you, definitely not in you, but in me. Yes, well, you see, within these past few months I have been leading both you and I on. It's horrible and I know that I shouldn't have done it. But you know with my ill step mother and my grandmother combined, my head was never really tightened to begin with. I also must say that by leading us on I have therefore lied to keep "us" going. It's actually quite funny really when you think of it. I mean, there I was, and there you were. And we were just there. Yes, quite a chuckle, I had, when I thought about it. As soon as it came to my mind, I phoned Phillis. And I said "Phillis you ought to here this!" Well yes, she got a good kick out of it too. But, anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I'm annoyed. Yes, annoyed. I just wanted it so badly. Do you ever see things in the movies? Things that you would give anything for? Well, I have never had those things. I usually draw the short straw when it comes to relationships. And when I saw it so close to my grasp I thought a little lie wouldn't hurt to get what I wanted. Well, as you could expect, the more the lie went on, the more that small voice grew louder. You know the small voice, don't you? Yes well, it seems to come out whenever you're doing something dreadfully wrong. And in this situation I definitely was. You see, dear sir, I was giving into temptation. And now with not a word from you and since our last words were some what bitter tasting, I feel as though I am allowed to feel upset. I know, it's very childish of me. But you can't blame me, a bit of everyone seems to stay in their adolescence. Right, so yes, I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed that you haven't contacted me, sir. I'm annoyed that I have lost your sweet words and your kind undertone. I'm annoyed that I haven't gotten what I have asked for. And that, dear sir, is another flaw I have found. You see, as I continue this act of childish behavior, I seem to become a mere five year old and whine whenever I don't get what I want. I seem to be throwing a trantrum without it. Even this measly letter is an act, hoping to get a small apology. When really, you are definitely not the one to be apologizing since I, in fact, used you like a dish rag (excuse the frankness). I guess, dear sir, that I miss you but for the very wrong reasons. So, I must say, what a gas I had, when I realized that you were doing the right thing and you are a little more than two years younger than me. Sometimes we never learn.

Well I hope that this will not effect or interactions in the future for I will certainly miss my bridge partner. Plus, the girls will be asking for you and what am I to say? That he has gone to bombay? Certainly not. Dreadful times, there are, in Bombay or is it Iraq? Oh well, that's not the point. The point is that I wish we could talk, man to man, or rather woman to man, or well you could go first which would make it man to woman. Oh dear, I seemed to have let my mind run away with me. So in the end my point is, I wish you would write or a possible phone. It would be a delight to hear. Plus, I'm to have tea on the fourteenth and what would I do then?

Sincerely and most lovingly yours
Nancy Bedagain