Like Diamonds In The Sky

What is freedom? What is independence? What is free will? Choice? Or liberty? I tell you I may not be able to identify and define each one of those words exactly because, as I connect back to Mr. Steven’s Identity class, its impossible; but I will say that as I come to the middle marker of my summer I know exactly how each one of those words feels. Its the feeling of you hair blowing in the wind. Its the feeling of a your abs hurting all too much from laughing. Its the feeling after you have been kissed. Its the feeling of waiting for a kiss. Its the feeling of a hesitation, a moment that stops and hovers for a little while. These feelings, they combine every once in awhile and as the fireworks, or the laughter explodes from their ports, it is a glorious and breath taking sensation, a drug you would never want to quit.

I guess I could say that I have started feeling all these emotions since the end of my high school career, which is ironic since that is an ending but we move on. Or maybe I started feeling freedom when I got my license. Either way it is a sensational surge. I can go wherever I want, whenever I want. I can care a little bit more for each and every person I love. I can blast my music or I can listen to just the whistle of the wind passing my ears, either way they are strong and true sounds that I constantly want to connect with.

But its not even the idea of going wherever whenever; it’s the idea of the summer. This summer. The idea of life, bright greens and blues and the idea that I am truly free from the usual limits and boundaries that I would have were I going back to Springside. I don’t have to worry about summer reading. I don’t have to worry about finishing my history packet. All I have to worry about is getting my campers to the right place at Springside’s Camp. All I have to worry about is finding the funniest way to present the next skit in the Cabaret. But even with those measly “worries” there’s the idea that I am not a high school girl looking for a boyfriend. There’s the idea that nothing, in fact, matters during this summer and its brilliant. To not have the usual pressures of being a teenage girl worrying about what people will think or who she should be with within the coming year. To gain experiences and to throw caution to the wind. Its amazing, its glorious, its something that I have never felt before.

So as I am slowing accepting aka flat out ignoring that I am going to college within the coming month, I will truly experience the way it feels to live life. To be strong, passionate, relaxed, loud. To be silly, to be beautiful, and to most of all be free.