An Entertainer's Life

Ugh what have I become? I go online, check my Xanga for comments, check my Blog for comments, check my friend's Blogs and Xangas to see if they updated. That’s maybe 15 minutes to an hour (depending on what I read) wasted. Then I go off, do other things; talk online, read, eat. I do all this until I decide to go back online. To do what? check Xangas and check Blogs.

I’ve become a junkie, an internet journal junkie. Its sad that the first thing I click when I go to sit at the computer is my browser for my Xanga site. What am I going to see? "Lets see if anyone commented" I think. COMMENTED! Carolina you checked 45 minutes ago! How could someone possibly have commented. It’s sad. It really is sad. I should really stop. I just wait to see peoples reactions, their praise. I shouldn‘t need this. I should be doing it, to do it, for me, not for other people. . .

But at the same time I have an excuse or rather, not an excuse but a passion. I am an entertainer. Those of you in Springside know; I yearn for my Monday morning spotlight to make people laugh. It used to be because I wanted people to come to the club, but now its become something more. Something that I want to do for fun. I want to make them laugh, make them happy.

This isn’t a bad thing. I think this is just something that I have come to realize. I guess I felt that I should write it, maybe post it on my Blog, try to impact someone. Knowing me I will check my Blog even more, just to see your reaction. It’s sad, the life of a performer, always doing for others. But in one instance it’s worth it, a little slice of heaven here on earth; all because you made them laugh, or cry, or. . think. You impacted them and that’s when suddenly that life, that sad life of show becomes a Broadway production. You have succeeded in effecting. And in the end you did it. You did it for them. You did it for you.

family

bonding with the family can sometimes be annoying and u think "god when am i going back to school" but then there are times where ur just like "wow my family's awesome"

im in arizona and im rocking it with my family. there are points where i want to kill them but there are some deffinite good times; and for that i love them.

take that risk!

if its what you want to do? DO IT! As eleanor roosevelt said "do one thing everyday that scares you."

SHE SPEEKS THE TRUTH! its something to live by. i understand that people can be shy, but if you dont move from square one how are you ever going to get to square ten? im writing this hopfully to inspire some of you. some of you are great people with amazing talents and personalities. but u back away. F%#* IT! dont be scared and dont worry. in the end everything will be fine. Even if this sceary thing is very little. one day you will be able to do something very big.

i kno for a fact because i used to be self concious and shy all the time. I KNOW! LINA? SHY? GOD read my middle school diary, its vile. BUT one day i decided to take a small risk and now im really not afraid as much. Dont be afraid of what might happen because if its something u truly want to do then good will ALWAYS come out of it.

you should all just have a session with my mom. god if i hear the college lecture one more time "carolina if the college that you want to go to doesnt accept u; then its not the college for you. you dont want to go to a college that doesnt want u there" its that kind of thinking that pulls me through things and help me take those "big leaps" everyday.

yes there are terratories that i have yet to venture in my life, bring it on. im ready. and its sad when i see people who arent ready. i want to help them realize that it will be alright. but i cant do it for them, its something they have to do for themselves. if you fail a test or paper is that really going to effect your life in the long run? no i dont think so. its that kind of thinking that i wanna help some of u realize.

i feel like im preaching but the world has SO MUCH to offer, if only you could step past your doorway.

i dont kno if this update will make a difference. but judging by the other blog entries i feel it was needed.

P-Rom 2

PROM CHECK LIST

Date . . . . CHECK
Dress . . . . CHECK
Shoes . . . . CHECK

the PIT society

So today im reading my usual blogs and i come to my last one. kelseys and she writes about the homework load WHICH i totally agree but heres part of wat she said:

"Or maybe all of the tecahers gather together after school and plan humungous loads of homework together just to see us suffer. Either way I think my worst project is by far my Gov project: Create the perfect society. Write a preamble and a constitution to your perfect society. Who does that? I mean honestly I'll just pull that out of my back pocket over the weekend!"

so i decided to post on blog and help her out.

"heres ur gov paper

PERFECT SOCIETY

name: THE PIT

laws:
-kelsey, heather, and lina are always the best.
-never go higher than middle C unless written in music.
-always eat cereal bars on the way down to SS after chambers
- always pop ur booty ESPECIALLY when either A) when u are imitating missy elliot or B) dancing to i like the way u move.
-must belt "hey" ESPECIALLY when u see each other or you have the option of saying PIT
-must be hot

preamble:
we the PIT in order to for a more perfect PIT estabish the PEOPLE IN TUNE and PITNITY. provide for the commen PIT. promote the gereal PIT and secure the blessings of the PIT and the diggers and dougherty. Do ordain and establish the laws up above for the PIT of LAURELI!



my god am i good"


that last bit. . . .its sooo right

masters recital

MY GOD THE MASTERS RECITAL ROCKED! i hit my dance dead on and just as i was getting in place for my second dance i thought "GOD this is why i love to dance" it was deffinitly a moment. YAY FOR MOMENTS and YAY FOR DANCING

P-Rom

Prom check list:

Date. . . . CHECK

the pain of dancing

hmm ok so i was dancing tonight. deperatly trying to speed choreograph my dance for the masters recital and im all into it right? like i had just did the middle section all right, it fit with the music and EVERYTHING. and well u see theres this part where i melt down slowly and then with the drums i slice my arms up sharply. only i was so into it that i hit my hand on the stupid trunk thing in the room. now ur thinking carolina why in the world are you dancing in a room with firnature in it. I CANT HELP IT! my butt parents wont let me move crap out of that room or any room for that matter and have it be a dance room. UGH those poos. oh well my hand still hurts like a mofo and i got an uber deep cut from slaming it so hard. im sure that if u were there ud laugh ur head off cause i like freaked out did a little jigg to the couch where i collapsed holding my hand then while crying obsenities i stumbled my way to the kitchen for a water bottle to place on my hand like ice. i wanted to cry but i was strong. lol.

the things i go through for dance.

the P word

prom is awesome. prama is not or rather lack there of and getting interested in others prama. lol being dateless kinda sux but frankly it doesnt matter to me, er, at least . . . i dont think so. its more about the dancing for me. iv been boyless for awhile. this is nothing new. the idea of going with someone would be kinda cool but knowing me and my usual situations ill be going with a friend WHICH IS NOT BAD. but u see the guys are like I LIKE YOU. . .AS A FRIEND. and im like GOSH DARN U! he he SILLY BOYS lol and i love my guys no matter wat even if theyre just my friends.

tomarrow

"so guess what tomarrow is" i say to tillman as he plays a random arcade game. "umm its friday" "i KNOW!" This weeks been kinda long with some bonus points throughout but this friday is desperatly needed. Somewhere between the math tests, random intense homework assignments, double DRob periods and the freezing cold winds you think "god the weekend needs to come right now" im going to a play friday and then rocking out in NYC for some college hunting. ill be doing that AND hopfully still have time to choreograph my piece for the masters recital, go to players AND write an essay for rock. at least i dont have SATs. so thank you friday for being the end of the week and for finally getting here.

Friday, you rock.

good days

God today was a good day. just a genuinly good day. i was happy. friends with everyone. ok so there was a little dispute in 3rd period but that didnt stop me from having a good day. i bonded with my girls that i love so much aka THE PIT OH and jeff lol and they put me in a great mood much better a mood than mrs fournier would ever put me in. anyway yay for good days yay for friends and yay for life. i have to cherish this day because they come so rare in my life so SCORE!

I LOVE LIFE!

hmm i think it was 5

uh wait guys how many trophies did we win?
i
i think it was 5
yea around 4 or 5
wait lets count them 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
yea 5

WE ROCK

"its a pangia if you will. . . .oy with the poodles already"

"so there were these two muffins. . ."

"gosh darn you seatbelt sign"

ugh soo many more quotes just ask me

FLORIDA HOOOOO

im going to DISNEY WORLD
ok ok
so im not going to disney world but i always like saying that. RIGHT well in aproxamitly 8 hours we will be leaving from CHA to the airport to go to FLORIDA. 4 awesome days with the pit and the rest of chambers GOD I CANT WAIT. its gonna rock like a headbanger in an earthquake . . . . exactly. YA CHAMBERS LETS WIN IT!

Dance Off

on terms of dancing

Greg Carson oorrrrr ME

Greg Carson or Me

Greg . . . Me

GREG . . . .MEEE


hmmm
ill let u guys decide that one